Dressing the Groom: The Suit Redux

After some rescheduling hijinks, we finally managed to sync up with Scatha for my final suit fitting on the Saturday before last.

As I expected, Miss Velvet Cream worked her magic, and the suit, much like our cake, is made of awesome.

The suit has an edgier look to it featuring D-ring closures, a Mandarin collar, and Scatha's signature patchwork effect, but fits like a classically tailored suit, which is to say, very well.

The suit is complemented by a vest, which features more aggressive patchwork texturing and, possibly my favorite touch, a ring pocket!

As a finishing touch Scatha sewed on the innards of a pocket watch, and two keys (not pictured).

I'm so looking forward to the chance to wear my suit down the aisle, probably the only thing that I'm anticipating more is finally getting to see Eden in her dress. A fine suit is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.

Dressing My Mom: Take Two

I thought dresses for the Bridesmaids would be the most difficult fashion task I'd face. Wrong.

Turns out it's almost next to impossible to find an elegant, stylish Mother of the Bride dress that doesn't scream wedding that meets both Mom's and my criteria. The first outfit didn't work - pleats on the sleeves were tacked at side seams and caught easily and the collar stood up.

What we want:

• Jacket
• Collar that lays flat
• Three quarter- or full-length sleeves
• Modest neckline
• A-line skirt
• No crepe or chiffon
• Matte finish
• Nothing that screams Alexis Carrington Colby

Here's what we've found:

Designer: Caterina

Style: 5015 $250

Designer: Sean Collection

Style: 7380 Lace Trim Gown & Jacket at FormalGallery.com $169

Cons: Neckline is too low; Has spaghetti straps

Designer: Cameron Blake

Style: 29670 $318

Cons: Neckline is too low; skirt is fitted, not A-line

Designer: Cameron Blake

Style: 26850 $318

Designer: Alyce Designs Jean De Lys
Style: 29270 $498
Cons: Expensive; Strapless

Designer: Chadwicks

Designer: Clifford Michael
Style: 63569, 63318, 63161 Lace Trim Gown & Jacket atWeddingChannel.com
Cons: Expensive; Seems more bridal than MOB; Has a stand collar

Designer: Cachet
Beaded Shantung Mock Two Piece Dress with Jacket

Designer: Alyce Designs Jean De Lys
Style: 29308 $398
Cons: Expensive; Frumpy; Skirt is fitted, not A-line

Style: 808 $480 from OnlyGowns.com
Cons: Expensive; Material looks cheap; Crepe

Anyone have suggestions on where to look for a non-traditional Mother of the Bride gown?

Get to Know Us: The Reasons I'm Marrying Him

After our last meeting with our rabbi, we started thinking about vows (ok, I'd already been thinking about vows since cubes suggested we write our own).

I spend a lot of time on a train. When I'm on a train without a book, which happens more frequently than one would assume, I spend a lot of time thinking.

I spend a lot of time commuting. When I'm stuck in stopped traffic, which happens a lot, I think about what I'm thankful for. I'm very thankful that cubes is in my life. I spend a lot of time thinking about him.

So while we're keeping our vows secret from each other, I thought I'd share why I'm marrying him in less than three and a half months. I've been collecting these reasons via Twitter and LiveJournal since the Fall when our friend Ed started a twitter meme after he got engaged - #reasonswhyimmarryingher. Note that I modified it slightly for my use #reasonswhyimmarryinghim. (I initially mistyped the hashtag and created an inadvertently funny tag that J caught #reasonswhyimmarringhim.)

1. I've never felt like he wanted me to be anyone other than me.
2. With him, I can be "me."
3. He didn't try to teach me how to play pool.
4. He didn't mind that we never won when we played pool together as a team.
5. He walked me to my car even though it was just across the street from the pool hall.
6. He picks me up at BART and walks with me when I'm scared (and when I'm not).
7. He's able to roll with it when plans change unexpectedly.
8. Even when there's no harm in telling a white lie, he doesn't.
9. He didn't try to take me back to his place after our first dinner date.
10. He kissed me back.
11. He knows how to give "long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."
12. He asked me to be his girlfriend.
13. He doesn't mind that I'm broken.
14. He reads to me.
15. He thanks me for the little things.
16. He checks to make sure food is dairy-free.
17. He reminds me about dairy toppings if I forget when I order.
18. He drove all over Sonoma County on our supposed-to-be-relaxing Holiday getaway to find me food.
19. He bought me a replacement cat necklace when I misplaced the first.
20. He's grateful I'm in his life.
21. He really wanted me to take a photo of him putting the save the dates in the mailbox.
22. He found the song for our first dance.
23. He doesn't laugh at me when I tear up at proposals on TV or in the movies.
24. Even though he's not a morning person, he goes with (and or drives) me to Palo Alto to get my hair done and never complains.
25. Even though he's not a morning person, he makes me coffee and breakfast when I need it.
26. He holds me tight to warm me up when I get cold.
27. He can have a good time when I'm not around, but he has a better time when I am around.
28. He watches "Drama Flakes" with me even though most of the shows have jumped the shark.
29. Even though he's superexcited about Szyzygryd, he offered to camp elsewhere at Burning Man if I couldn't camp with them.
30. He's never made me feel guilty for being selfish.
31. He waves to me every morning when he gets to work.
32. He waves to me and blows me a kiss every evening before he leaves work.
33. He says goodnight each evening before we go to bed.
34. When I get stressed, it stresses him, but he doesn't show it. He just hugs me until it's ok.
35. He doesn't think the idea of $100+ underwear is silly.
36. He takes care of me when I'm hungover (although he tells his mom about how hungover I was).

Tuesday Shoesday: Boots and Bootlets

I love boots. I love bootlets. My favorite pair of shoes is a pair of 13+ year old cowboy boots. One reason I love my boots is that I'm a klutz. I'm probably the only person in the world that can slip and fall wearing athletic shoes.

For the wedding I'm wearing boots. Last night I worked on replacing the too short athletic laces that came with the boots with ribbons in our wedding colors. Here's the before - straight from Idol Vintage - and the after.

What do you think?

In honor of Shoesday Tuesday and my love of boots and bootlets, here are some of the boots I'm craving.

Diane Von Furstenberg Alexandria $308.70

(Source)

BCBGeneration Demetria $109.95

(Source)

Oak Tree Vow $95.99

(Source)

Oak Tree Catherine $149.99

(Source)

{Green} The Myth of a Green Wedding

You're not having a green wedding. I'm not having a green wedding. We'd all probably like to think we are, but truth is we're not.

Well ok, you might be... You might be having a super simple wedding. One where you and your groom wear clothes you already own, take public transportation (or walk or ride a bicycle), as do your local witnesses, to City Hall or your local courthouse and say "I Do." No invitations. No bouquets. No boutonnières. No travel.

Seriously though, how many couples are going to have simple, truly green weddings? There are some brides who dream of white weddings from their earliest memories. Regardless of how they label their wedding, they won't be green. They won't be eco-friendly, earth friendly, etc. Chances are guests are going to have to travel from somewhere. Chances are that you've probably been planning your wedding and making selections that include words like these:

Green. Eco-friendly. Earth Friendly. Sustainability. Organic. Handmade. Recycled. Upcycled. Rescued. Renewable. Carbon Offsets.

What do all these terms have in common? They're marketing hype.

How do I know they're hype? The eco-friendly ribbon made from recycled post-consumer waste paper I so carefully selected is Made in the Philippines. The bags made from recycled PET I selected for our Day Of survival bags are Made in China. And the affordable palm wax candles I purchased aren't made in the US. Neither are any of the renewable materials used for our paper goods.

Every one of these green products had to be shipped to me; they're not available in local stores. Those products made in China, Thailand, and Nepal traveled half way around the world. Regardless of how you look at it, that's a lot of fuel consumed in transport.

And here's a scarier thought... there's so little information around on the manufacturing process for these "green" goods. Where does the PET they're recycling come from? Hopefully not the US - that, if true, would mean the items had circled the globe before they arrived on my doorstep. Shudder.

You're being green by having a Green Registry with servingware made of bamboo? That's not really green either.

Perhaps the biggest concern about bamboo comes from the fact that it can't be sustainably grown on a large scale in North America and Europe, meaning it has to be imported from abroad. Currently 80% of the world's bamboo production comes from China, where regulatory standards for organic and sustainable production are either non-existent or largely opaque.

(Source: Guardian.co.uk)

Basically there's no such thing as being green. And it is very hard (almost impossible) to find greener products locally, especially for a couple trying to stick to a budget. When you get past the marketing hype, you'll invariably find something like this:

"[Insert Vendor Name Here] products are made in [Insert Country other than United States (or Where You're Having Your Wedding)], where hundreds of fair-wage jobs have been created."

We're trying to make greener choices for our wedding, but the more we try, the more I realize just the fact that we're having a wedding makes us eco-unfriendly.

Steps we've taken to be greener:

Venue is located near a variety of public transportation options.
Ceremony and reception are in the same venue to reduce amount of travel.
Local designers upcycled/reconstructed vintage clothes.
Local or US-based designers chosen for new clothes - corset, birdcage veil, and groom's and groomsmen's shirts.
Vintage keys, platters, cookbooks, and train cases, as well as recycled beer and wine bottles, are used for decor.
Recycled corks are used for escort card holders.
Most of our paper products are 100% "renewable" or rescued from the recycle bin.
• Unscented, dripless taper candles made from palm wax were selected for our candles.
Compostable cups made in the US were chosen for our bar.
Menu for dinner includes in-season, locally available options.
For items purchased outside of the bay area, ground shipping when available was used.
Gifts for the wedding party are made from recycled materials.

Impact of "greener" choices:

• Raw materials for our paper products were imported from Costa Rica, Thailand, or Nepal.
• Items made from recycled materials (survival bags for the wedding party, fabric for reusable snack bags, etc.) were Made in China.
• 25% of our guests are traveling via airplane to attend our wedding.
• Majority of the items purchased had to be transported.

What steps have you taken to make your wedding greener? Were you surprised to find out your "eco-friendly" items were Made in China?

Wedding DIY Project Craft Day: All Things Paper

As with the two of us getting together, our wedding will also be through the help/work of our friends.

(Photo by Jessica Palopoli)

Hilary and Annie work together to create accent triangles from vintage cookbook pages.

Many hands (Ames, Hilary, Annie, Iris, Mooflyfoof, Icka, and Juicy) came together to stuff and seal invitations; label, glue, and cut escort cards; glue, cut, score, and bend bases for our table numbers; cut ribbon and raffia; and cut cover and paper for wedding favors. Every project had multiple steps. For example, with the escort cards, a page from a vintage cookbook was glued to Coffee Paper Card Stock. Strips of lace and purple from the Sharing Inserts were labeled with each guest's name and then glued to the reinforced cookbook page. When dry, each strip was trimmed and individual escort cards cut. The cut cards were then stamped with the lace rose.

(Photos by Jessica Palopoli; Sources: Top Photo/Bottom Photo)

While working we enjoyed Mimosas (with champagne provided by Eden's boss) and fruit, cheese and crackers arranged by cubes. As the afternoon wore on and the heat cranked up, Steve23 refreshed us with Chavelas - Mexican beer and Clamato seasoned with Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce. Steve fired up the grill and treated us to salmon, skirt steak, chicken, and pork chops.

(Personal Photo)

The best thing about our crafting day? All of our friends coming together. Second best thing? The laughter we shared. Third best thing? Learning the rules of icing from an expert bro as he iced Steve, and seeing the expert receive his first icing courtesy of a bottle appropriated from his own bag.

(Personal Photo)

Are you having crafting days? What are your favorite memories?

The Benefits of Being Authentic and Open

When I started this blog, it was going to be just updates about our wedding. We designed our Save the Dates. We mailed our Save the Dates. Blah blah blah. And that's how it started.

But near the end of March, I started talking about what I was obsessed with (or passionate about as cubes would say), things such as fonts, paper, etc. I also ranted about the pressure to be perfect. I've blogged about the frustrations, the disappointments, and the freak outs that come along with wedding planning.

Some posts are scary for me to write - especially knowing that friends and family will see them. I'm very glad I got past those fears (and have started talking in person with friends outside the blog). The support and reassurances of friends and strangers has been amazing!

Yesterday we had our second Wedding DIY Project Crafting Day. Without that post about perfection and a friend reaching out to see if I was ok, these days wouldn't have been possible. What I enjoy most about these days isn't all the projects that are getting completed - and early as well! What I enjoy most is all the friends coming together. The laughter. The catching up on what everyone's being doing and how they've been.

We're ahead in our wedding planning and DIY Projects because these crafting days motivated me to organize everything so that we can get together. Because of the suggestions to turn the DIY Projects into a sort of Wedding Style Barn Raising I have all these memories of us together. I also have an answer to whether people notice the details - they do.

So if ever you're tempted not to be authentic and open, put that temptation aside. The benefits of being authentic and open are that you'll get additional ideas and you'll get amazing afternoons of friends coming together.

One of my top three things I wanted for our wedding was Friends. So far, this is coming true in spades.