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Saturday, November 6, 2010

Still Doesn't Feel Real

In four days, we will have been married for exactly a month.

I still get this amazing thrill when I see my new name. First at Mooflyfoof and EdRabbit's wedding. In my email. On Facebook. And the other day on a thank you note from Mooflyfoof. It feels right. Natural. 

Even though we planned our wedding, it still doesn't feel quite real. Maybe it's this waiting for the County of San Francisco to process the marriage license and send us a certified copy so that I can start using my new name all the time. Maybe its because we haven't gone on our mini-moon yet. Maybe then it will really sink in.

Maybe it's because for so long I cast myself as the girl who stalked her friends camera in hand - the observer. Maybe it just takes time get used to the role of actor. Who knows.

Maybe when our new bedroom furniture arrives this afternoon. When our bed - an engagement present from my parents - arrived last year, OMG we're living together hit. As well as OMG we're engaged. Plus OMG we have adult furniture. Real. We're an "Us." An Us with a future. 

I do know that I like how one day in our relationship - our wedding day - hasn't changed "us." I like that he still plans for breakfasts in bed and lazy days together. I like the thrill I still get when he tells me his plans. 

I like that in eleven days, it'll be just us for five days. No work. No errands. No demands. Just us. Together. 

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